Joe Biden has many archnemeses. Foreign policy. The economy. Continence. You name it, he's losing the battle. But there is no foe more dastardly to Biden than GRAVITY. Armed with stairs, gravity has one goal in mind, and that is to embarrass our pudding-headed president at every public appearance.

Not that gravity needs stairs…

…as much as gravity prefers stairs. Please note that independent fact-checkers have rated the following video as "manipulated media." Biden really fell. But it wasn't because Trump hit him with a golf ball.

It happened again in Philadelphia as Biden was set to take the stage for a speech about… it doesn't really matter. These were even the short steps. Not unlike the size of the bus Biden needs to be driven in to campaign events. We have multiple angles of this latest DERPformance.

81 MILLION votes, folks. Know what I mean?

Here's why it is newsworthy every time Joe Biden forgets it goes left and then it goes right. Other than it's a reminder for Americans struggling to buy groceries that the man responsible is OLD AS F*CK. Or that we here at the Louder with Crowder Dot Com website enjoy ourselves cheap content. It's that the White House has put protocols in place to stop Joe Biden from falling down.

Protocols that we know about because someone thought leaking them to corporate media was helpful. Either that or the White House has a mole working for Gavin Newsom.

And I quote (emphasis mine): "Some senior Democrats privately have been frustrated with Biden's advance team for months, noting that the president often appears not to know which direction to go after he speaks at a podium. Often without context, Republicans have used video clips of Biden looking confused about where to go after speeches to raise further questions about his age."

So to prevent Republicans from SEIZING on Joe Biden falling apart before our very eyes, the following protocols have been put in place:

– Biden has been doing exercises to improve his balance with a physical therapist. They aren't working.

– He switched to tennis shoes to avoid slipping. Not sure if they have velcro instead of laces.

– Joey's doctor has recommended balance exercises called "proprioceptive maintenance maneuvers." Judging from these videos, Biden has not been using them.

It may be time to put Kamala Harris in. If I were a Democrat, having the ability to claim any criticism of my candidate was either sexist racism or racist sexism would be a heck of a lot easier than having to pretend an octogenarian who can't remain upright is full of the vigor We the People need.


Brodigan is Grand Poobah of this here website and when he isn't writing words about things enjoys day drinking, pro-wrestling, and country music. You can find him on the Twitter too.